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Gentle reminders for when you feel less than great about your body.




First off, can I give you a virtual hug friend?


Its tough being a human with a meat suit right now, bombarded every day with all the ‘beauty ideals’.

You can’t turn on the TV, radio, open a magazine or drive down the street without seeing some type of ad targeted at making you feel less than amazing.

Perfect hair, perfect makeup, perfect body, perfect errrrythang.


(Disclaimer for anyone who’s going to get their panties in a twist about health etc.... If you want to do the things that make you feel good in the name of health - fantastic. But for some, the pressure to look a certain way is crushing - so pls don’t bring the ‘Gym body - healthy body argument here).


If you need a couple of gentle gentle reminders today, I got you friend.


1. Your body and your mental health are worthy.


Like I said, it’s a hard time being a human, especially if you struggle with any part of your body. Being constantly subjected to ads about diets, pills, shakes and perfection can reak havoc on your mental health *raises hand*.

I used to be SO consumed with what I looked like, that it literally controlled my life.

I would obsess over my clothes, my makeup, my weight, my hair (or lack of), my everything.

I wouldn’t leave my house without ensuring everything was ‘in order’.

And when I didn’t want to go through it all - I didn’t leave the house.


Its perfectly ok to feel like you don’t have it all together.

Can I tell you a secret?

Nobody does - and that’s a reminder I try and keep in mind all the time. We can get caught up in the social media filters that make everyone’s lives look perfect and effortless, when in reality we are all just trying not to lose our shit.


Take a big deep breath and slowly let it out, as you remind yourself of all the amazing things your body has enabled you to do (no time for anything negative in this space now).


Please know that you are perfect and doing the best you can as you are right now, and that’s enough!


2. Remember that loving yourself can start with the smallest step.


The most powerful thing I do when I begin to feel less than amazing about my body, I get naked.


Yep, I take off all of my armour (Clothes, makeup, hat etc....) and I stand in front of my bathroom mirror as myself.


I will stare at myself in the mirror, and focus On one body part at a time, telling it out loud what I love about it.


My stomach and thighs have always been my tough spots, so I leave them for the end, then I thank them....


”Thank you for being a safe place to grow my two amazing children, who have been the greatest gifts in my life. Without the saggy skin, extra weight and stretch marks, I wouldn’t know my children. I am grateful for you.”


”Thank You for being strong. For walking me through the hardest moments of my life, for being a safe place for my kids to climb up and sit on, for being strong when my heart is weak and I do scary things. I am grateful for you.“


It can can be tough somedays, but even if you start small, I assure you, your body will thank you.


3. Give yourself grace.


We all have those days when we just don’t feel our best. ITS OK.

Its ok to hang out in your sweat pants and take a break.

It’s ok to give into your cravings for your favorite ice cream, cheesecake or any other ‘bad food’- (Ugh DONT even get me started on that bullshit).

It’s ok to say ‘Not today’ and treat yourself.

Its ok to sit and have the worlds longest bubble bath (drain and fill ‘er up again!).

And it’s ok to be aware of the negative reel you have playing in your head (we all have it - I call it the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee).

(I suggest practising saying a kind thing about yourself each time your IBSC kicks in).

You are human, it’s ok.


Reminding myself each and everyday that I am human, doing life for the first time is a great way to bring me back to present. I have never lived this life before, so I’m learning each and every day.

I have never loved this body before, so much the same, I am learning everyday.


4. Food is Food.


One of my greatest challenges with my body has been the extra weight I gained while pregnant with my kids (and that’s hung on for 10 years).

I used to obsess over what I put in my mouth down to the calorie, and would get sucked into a shame tornado every time I ate something ‘bad’.

I would restrict, restrict, restrict, until I had to give into my cravings, and land face first in a piece of cheesecake the size of my head.

Then I would shame myself for not being able to ‘control myself’, and would eat more since ‘I already blew my diet’.

Then I would get my shit together and start my ‘healthy eating’ again.

And begin the cycle for the millionth time.


When I began letting go of what I thought food was -good vs bad- I was finally able to eat for me.

I let go of any labels, I ate smaller portions of what my body wanted, the cravings stopped because the restrictions didn’t exist any longer, and I began praising my body rather than hate it.


And the result? My weight began coming off.



Friend, you may not feel amazing today, and that’s ok! I don’t either sister!

I’m currently sitting in a tank top that is to short and shows off my ’lower belly c-section shelf’, feeling a little gross after eating 3 macadamia nut cookies, in my RV covered in camping dust.


But today I will show myself grace because this body is mine, only mine.

And it loves me the way I can only hope I can love it back one day ❤️


xoxo







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© 2023 by Vanessa McWilliams